Halloween Hijinx
by RantyFanGirl
Summary: It's the week of Halloween, and Kelso has an encounter with a hot chick in a witch costume. Is it really just a costume though? Jackie and Donna's worlds are each about to be thrown onto familiar yet completely different paths. Can Hyde and Eric figure out how, why, and most importantly save their girls before it's too late?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! This is my first stab into T70S fanfic. I've read so many wonderful stories here and I wanted to try it out myself. I can guarantee this story won't be complete before Halloween is over but tis the season, I figured now is as good a time as any to share it. Please let me know what you think!**

 **Update: I just realized the page breaks didn't post and I look like a derp. Fixed it!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. The only thing I own is a Prius, and I owe a lot of money on it.**

 **Late-October**

 **1978**

 **6:33pm**

 **Eric Forman's Basement**

Fez was sitting in the lawn chair, mechanically shoving M&Ms into his mouth while Kelso lounged across the worn couch. Both of the boys were staring at the TV, appearing to the casual observer to be in a trance.

Steps were heard on the stairs, one pair a heavy-footed boot, the other the lighter staccato sound from heels. "Steven, I know you think it's stupid and childish, but I really think-"

"No."

"But Steven, it's Halloween, don't you want to-"

"No."

"Fine, but-"

"Jackie, I said no at the Hub, five times in the car on the way here, and twice in the kitchen. I'm not going to a freaking Halloween party with your cheerleader friends!"

At the mention of cheerleaders, Kelso and Fez turned in unison to watch the couple fighting at the base of the staircase.

Jackie switched tactics. Reaching out, she curled her slender fingers around Hyde's and swiveled her body side to side a bit. She put on an adorable smile for added effect. Jackie had opened her mouth with her next argument, but before she could get a word in edgewise, Hyde was ready with his rebuttal. "No."

Hyde had not however, dropped her hand. Perhaps there was still a little bit of hope. Jackie was ready to pull out the big guns. "Her parents are out of town and there's going to be plenty of beer. _Free_ beer, Steven."

Hyde paused for half a beat then started to scowl. "Fine," he bit out, but needed to make one thing absolutely clear to his girlfriend. "But I'm _not_ wearing a costume."

"Alright! Cheerleaders!" Kelso had sat up by this point and he turned to give Fez a high-five.

"But Kelso, it is a costume party." Fez whined slightly with a frown, his ever-present accent coloring his words. "How am I going to top the fishnets and heels from last year? Girls won't want to do it with me if I am not properly attired."

Hyde turned his attention from Jackie at this point. They had made their way to his chair, and Jackie was just perching herself on his knee. Never one to turn down an opportunity for mischief making with his foreign friend, Hyde gave Fez most of his attention. "Fez. What a girl really wants is for you to look sluttier than her. It's an American Halloween tradition." Hyde looked towards the couch on instinct, but it was still only Kelso. Eric and Donna weren't home and he didn't have back up on this one. He didn't until Jackie opened her mouth. That girl was growing on him more every day.

"Steven's right. See, I have our Halloween costumes all planned out. St- I mean I am going to be a pilot and Steven here," Jackie paused to drape an arm around Hyde's shoulders and smile cutely at him. She was so not giving up on winning best costume at the party because Hyde was being well, himself. "-is going to be a sexy stewardess with a super cute neckerchief and a tight little skirt. Not to mention the heels I- I mean he bought _just_ for this party and hi- I mean me."

Jackie's tone had gone from sweet to angry by the end of her monologue, but Fez didn't notice. He had a semi-vacant expression on his face while he mentally flipped through all the possible sexy costumes he could pull off. Kelso was back to watching cartoons and paid no attention to Jackie's conversation or subsequent slip ups. After the magic words cheerleaders and free beer he had no reason to pay attention.

Hyde tightened his grip around Jackie's waist, just enough to get her attention and let her know he wasn't stupid. He was onboard with his chick helping him pull a fast one on Fez, but he wasn't as easily pushed over as their foreign friend. "Heels, Steven. _High_ heels."

"No."

"But Steven, I already bought our costumes and I know how handsome you'll-"

"No."

"Steven, just listen to me. I-"

"No." Hyde knew this argument wasn't going anywhere, so he tapped Jackie lightly. Whatever argument they happened to be having, their body language was still in sync. She stood up, already going on about saving face in front of the other cheerleaders or something. Whatever it was, Hyde tuned her out. While Jackie droned on Hyde stood and lifted her, easily tossing her over his shoulder. He was pretty sure she didn't notice. She continued to harangue her boyfriend as he walked to his room with her. Hyde deposited Jackie on his bed, shut the door, and turned to stare her down, arms crossed over his chest.

"Steven, you're not even listening to me," Jackie huffed.

"Uh let's see here… cheerleaders, Halloween, popularity, poor people, and-" Hyde changed his voice to a whining impersonation of Jackie- "Steveeen! Did that about sum it up?"

"Ugh, it's like you don't even care!" Jackie threw her hands up, her frustration evident.

"Of course I don't care Jackie, it's freaking Halloween. You're lucky I'm even going to the stupid party. Why would I dress up?"

"Because I asked you nicely?" Jackie countered.

"Jackie I don't _do_ costumes. I don't _do_ Halloween. I don't _do_ cheerleaders."

Jackie scooted back on the cot, rested her back against the dresser, and lifted one eyebrow in response.

"Okay, so maybe I do cheerleaders."

"Cheerleaders? As in multiple? Steven, if you're cheating on me, I swear to-"

Jackie's voice was rising and Hyde had to stop her before she started kicking his shins. "Woah, woah. Slow down, Jackie. Cheerleader. As in one. One loud, bossy, and obnoxious yet extremely hot cheerleader." While speaking, Hyde moved to sit down next to Jackie and slung his arm across her shoulders.

Still not ready to give up, but satisfied Hyde wasn't turning into Kelso 2.0, Jackie turned an draped her legs across his lap. "And?"

"And I agreed to go to the stupid party with you."

"The party is not stupid. I already explained to you that it means…"

Hyde had enough. He was alone in his room with his girlfriend and there was no way he was going to survive another Jackie-speech. He did the only thing a man possibly could in this situation. He pulled Jackie into his lap and crushed his mouth to hers, effectively muting her in a way that wouldn't make her violent. Jackie tensed in his arms for the length of three breaths then her arms were around him and her lips responded in kind. 'Finally' Hyde thought. 'This is what I've been waiting all day for.'

After a couple of minutes and some light petting, Jackie broke the kiss and leaned back in Hyde's arms. "Steven?" she questioned, her words barely louder than a whisper.

"Yeah?" Hyde used the break in making out to pull his sunglasses off and set them on the dresser.

"I have the high heels with me." A seductive smile played on her lips.

Hyde perked right up at that. "Do I get to see you in them?"

"I was going to put them on for you, but since you won't dress up with me I have to return them so I can't. I can't wear a couple's costume alone, Steven." Jackie accentuated her words with a pout.

Hyde stared at her in disbelief. It took him a moment to realize the level of deviousness Jackie had resorted to but once he did he faceplanted his bed and half-groaned, half-screamed into the pillow.

She was devious, and he really lo-liked that about her, but he would _not_ cave for sex. Not even naked-Jackie-in-high-heels-sex.

* * *

"What was that?" Donna and Eric both spoke and turned their heads in unison to the sound of Hyde's strangled voice emanating from his room.

"Oh man!" Kelso yelled. "Hyde and Jackie are doing it! Wait…" His face fell and Donna patted his shoulder in a show of sympathy. Kelso was still making half-hearted attempts to get Jackie back, and Donna couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. Kelso was Kelso. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was always genuine.

"If that's Hyde and Jackie doing it, then something is very wrong," Eric stated then added in a muttered breath, "She really _is_ the devil."

"Shut up." Donna lightly slapped Eric's chest, but there was no heat in it. She knew that if it were her and Eric back there, everyone would be talking just as much trash.

"Hyde really has gone to the dark side. But instead of Darth Vader, he's with Satan." A horrified look crossed Eric's face before he whispered, "Jackie is worse than Darth Vader." The members of the group that were assembled collectively rolled their eyes at Eric's expected but not necessarily welcome Star Wars reference.

Hyde and Jackie re-emerged at this point and Eric was unable to continue comparing Jackie to Darth Vader and come up with more horrible things that she was capable of. He instead gave her a frightened look and scooted closer to Donna in the middle of the couch.

Jackie pursed her lips briefly at Eric's odd behavior, but he was generally twitchy so she didn't spend too much time thinking about it. He was Eric, and ew. Plus, her foolproof plan of naked heels didn't go over so well with Hyde so she had more important things to think of. It was clearly not a foolproof plan, but Jackie wasn't disheartened. She would get her boyfriend to wear a matching costume. Somehow.

"Circle time?" Donna asked the group in general. She was still adjusting to life at Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow and relaxing with a joint sounded way better than a rap with a ruler.

"Sorry man, no can do." Hyde settled into his chair, appearing far more unbothered than he was. Jackie and her freaking scheming, man. He was _so_ close to getting some action _and_ a show. It was all about the show of Zen at this point. "We finished my bag last time and I haven't seen Leo in a few days.

"No circle, no more candy, no sexy lady costume, no Fez." Fez stood up, ticking each item off on his fingers. He started to leave, which finally dragged Kelso's attention away from reruns.

"I have a bag. I got it today." Kelso fished into his pocket with a proud smile and produced said bag, full of everyone's favorite green plant.

"Kelso. Where'd you get a bag?" Hyde glanced from the table to Kelso and back again. He was never one to turn down free smoke, but this was Kelso.

"Yeah," Eric agreed. "This isn't like the time when you bought a 'killer stash' and we all smoked Oregano is it?

"No man, I got it from this hot chick dressed like a witch down by Hub, except she was a hot witch. It was in the alley behind it. See, I had to pee and the bathroom was full so I went out back and-"

"Michael. Will you get to the freaking point?" Jackie griped.

"Damn Jackie. Let a guy tell his story." Kelso pointedly turned to Donna and Eric, ignoring Jackie and Hyde who were sitting in Hyde's chair. "So I went out back and there was this super hot chick. She asked if I was looking to score and I was like sweet! Yeah! I mean, my pants were already unzipped. I was halfway there. Then she showed me this…" Kelso picked up the baggie for emphasis, "And I was like sweet! Yeah!" I mean doing it would've been better, but she gave me the stash for free. And she said I was gonna have a lightning experience." A frown crossed Kelso's features as he pondered that. Wait. Is lightning gonna mess up my hair?"

Donna decided to save Kelso from himself while Hyde reached for the bag and Eric passed it over to him. "Did she maybe say that you'd have an enlightening experience, Kelso?"

"That's exactly what I said Donna. A lightning experience." Kelso made an exaggerated eye roll and huffed. Donna smiled and shook her head, but made no reply.

"This is definitely real." Hyde announced from his chair. "And it smells pretty tasty, man."

No one questioned Hyde's authority on weed. Eric, Fez, and Kelso set chairs around the circle while Jackie and Donna lit the incense. By the time everyone was situated, Hyde had a joint rolled. He handed it to Kelso for the honors. It was his stash after all, and started rolling a second joint. Hyde wouldn't admit it, but he needed to calm Jackie down and distract her from the Halloween from Hell mission

* * *

"It's so weird," Kelso started. "She was dressed like a witch, but she was blond with these giant boobs." Moving his hands at least a foot from his chest, he attempted to demonstrate just how large his mystery dealer's breasts were. "And she was a sexy witch. No green skin or pointy noise. I wish all witches were that hot. But wait…" Pausing, Kelso got that semi-pained look that indicated he was thinking hard. "Was she a real witch? Why was there a witch in the alley behind the Hub?"

"Aiee! I just smoked witchy weed!" Fez jumped into Kelso's lap and clung to him, far from sober and clearly frightened.

Pan to Eric and Donna, who were staring at Fez and Kelso. Kelso looked like a scared puppy and the two were clinging to each other with no thoughts of it being anything but completely natural. "Donna? Is it just me, or is that really happening?"

"It's almost Halloween you dillholes." Was Donna's only response but the guys weren't listening to her.

"Hey Jackie, you should give those costumes of yours to Kelso and Fez. Don't they make an adorable couple?" Hyde had a smirk on his face, but it didn't last for long. Jackie, who was sitting snuggled against his side, elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow! What was that for man?" At the fire in Jackie's eyes, Hyde realized his screw up and stuck the joint to Jackie's lips. "Or um…" Hyde started, surreptitiously moving his shins out of the reach of his girlfriend's feet. "You could buy them their own couple costume." His response was mumbled as quietly as possible.

"Oh my god Steven, does that mean we're dressing up for the party? Best costume wins $200."

"WHAT?!" Five pairs of eyes turned and stared at Jackie.

Crap. She hadn't meant to give that part away.

"Alright! We're all going to a party!" Kelso announced. "Fez we're going to kick Jackie and Hyde's asses and win best dressed!"

After that, everything got a little fuzzy…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hey there! I know Halloween is over, but who says it can't be fun for more than a few days? I appreciate everyone that has read the story. Since I'm still pretty new to the (publishing at least) fanfic writing, any and all critiques, criticisms, or compliments are greatly appreciated. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The only thing I own is a Prius, and I owe a lot of money on it.

 **The Next Morning**

 **Jackie Burkhart's Driveway**

 **8:04am**

Jackie was sitting on her front steps, waiting for Hyde to pick her up. It seemed like an ordinary morning to her. Tan boots peeked out from beneath the hem of her bell bottom jeans, and one was tapping a rhythm against the concrete beneath it. Hyde was late to pick her up, but she wasn't bothered by it. One hand absent-mindedly lifted to her head and her fingers ran through tight curls. Ceasing the foot tapping, Jackie adjusted the aviator shades on her face then leaned her elbows against the porch, stretching her legs in front of her. It was starting to get chilly out, Jackie noted to herself. She'd have to dig through the bottom of her closet to find a thicker jacket, if she remembered. Jackie couldn't really be bothered. Her parents were lucky she was showing up to school at all, not that they'd remember.

A black El Camino pulled in the driveway a few minutes later, and Hyde stepped out once it was parked. "Sorry I'm late, Forman pissed off Red over breakfast and I couldn't miss the foot up the as- woah." Hyde's lips snapped shut mid-sentence and he took a moment to just stare at Jackie. "What, uh… what happened?" He wasn't one to ask a lot of questions when it came to Jackie, especially asking questions to her, but Jackie basically had the chick version of his hair. And how the Hell did she get a hold of glasses that looked just like his? Pink-tinted lenses, but otherwise they were exactly the same. Wait a minute… "Is that my shirt?"

"Whatever, Steven." Man, he was talking a lot today. Jackie finally rose to her feet and sauntered over to Hyde. "It's all I could find. What'd you want me to do? Wear a dress and wedges? Ugh!"

Hyde's jaw fell open. Something was up with Jackie but he wasn't about to ruin it. Instead, he slipped his arms around her waist. His girl really could rock a concert t-shirt.

Jackie lifted one corner into her lips in to the barest hint of a smile and stood on her tip toes to grant her boyfriend a brief kiss. "Why would I spend an hour on my hair before school when I could spend it sleeping?"

"Because your hair has never… you know what? Never mind." Whatever the Hell was going on with Jackie, he was fine with it. She was always gorgeous, but this was a look he hadn't seen on her. He wasn't about to break Stonerella's curse or his own dream… or whatever the Hell that fairy tale was. Plus he had to admit, the shades were pretty bad ass on her.

"Get in the car, Jackie." Hyde said, adding in a mumble too low for Jackie to catch, "Before anything weirder happens."

"Ugh, fine. Jackie slid behind the wheel of the El Camino, scooting herself across the bench to the passenger side. Hyde followed suit and backed his car out of the driveway.

He barely made it to the corner when Jackie started turning the radio dial, passing through Abba and a couple other pop songs with sounds of disgust that were very un-Jackie-like. Hyde raised one eyebrow, but kept his focus on the road. She finally landed on a Rolling Stones tune, which apparently passed muster since she leaned back in the seat and finally seemed to relax. That lasted all of five seconds. Hyde smirked to himself. Fidgety Jackie was one trait he recognized. He glanced over at her when he hit a red light, taking in the long permed brunette locks, the t-shirt, the bell bottoms, and the boots that could pass for a female version of his own. Was Jackie abducted by aliens or something? Hyde didn't hit his stash this morning, but it was the only explanation that made any amount of sense.

"Let's ditch." Jackie announced, apropos of nothing.

"What?" Hyde must have heard her wrong. Usually he was the one making a half-assed attempt to cut of class. Jackie always had Cheer practice, or some girl or another she had to be present to show up with her looks and outfit. Then again, with today's outfit choice… it wasn't girly like Jackie usually wore, but there wasn't a girl in school that could hold a candle to her. That black shirt really hugged Jackie's curves in all the right places….

"I said, let's ditch. Skip school. Go park somewhere and smoke. Are you already high?"

Jackie's words snapped Hyde out of his daydreaming and gawking at Jackie like a prepubescent boy. He paid attention to the road and hooked a right, heading away from school and towards Mount Hump. It was the easiest place to go when you didn't want to be noticed.

"No, man. I just picked up a bag from Leo on the way to your place." Hyde gestured vaguely towards the glove box and turned the radio up a notch louder. This Jackie who was sorta Jackie but not really Jackie was starting to feel weird.

Jackie shrugged one shoulder. She pulled the bag out of the glove box and started to roll a joint; something Jackie Burkhart would never stoop to before. She always considered it 'too dirty' for her. Hyde let it slide. He'd have to fix them later, but he figured it'd keep her quiet and keep him from thinking too much about what was going on. A quiet Jackie was a good Jackie. A Hyde that didn't have to over analyze his girlfriend like a chick was a happy Hyde.

By the time Hyde made it to Mount Hump and parked the car in a secluded area, his usual spot when he took Jackie up here, she presented him with not one but two perfectly rolled joints. He couldn't have done it better; in fact it looked like his handiwork. "Nice job." Hyde nodded his approval and got out of the Camino, grabbing a blanket from behind his seat. He laid it out on the bed and climbed in, walking until he hit the back of the bed and sat down, leaning his back against the cool metal. Jackie settled herself between his spread legs, with her back up against his chest. One of Hyde's hands automatically moved to wrap around her waist, his fingers resting against her stomach. Finally, something that felt natural to Hyde.

Jackie lifted the joint to her lips and raised one finger on her free hand. "Lighter."

Hyde easily complied, flicking the lighter in front of the joint and cupping his other hand around the flame so the wind wouldn't take it. Jackie had it lit in a few short puffs and relaxed against Hyde as she inhaled. That was better.

"This is how days should be," Jackie commented absentmindedly awhile later, the joint long gone.

"Hm?" Hyde still had one arm wrapped around Jackie, but his free hand was playing with one of her permed locks. He would tug it straight and release it, just to watch the lock spring back into place in its tight curl, lost among the other tendrils of hair that looked the same. He had tried several things over the last minutes. So far he had curled it the opposite way, held it flat tight enough to earn a 'What the Hell, man?' from Jackie, and tried to hold a lock over the flame from his lighter to see if heat had some effect. They always returned to that tight curl that was so not Jackie Burkhart perfect.

"This. Relaxing, catching a buzz, and just… hanging out. It's nice. School is overrated."

"Mmm," was Hyde's agreement and he swept Jackie's hair out of the way to plant a kiss at the base of her neck. They stayed that way for a while longer before something inspired Hyde to be vocal. Maybe it was because they were high as a kite. It could have been the fact that Jackie was quiet instead of being her usual nonstop chatterbox self. It might even have been because it seemed like the perfect moment. If pressed, Hyde would blame an out of body experience or the government. The end result was the same. "Hey Jackie?"

"Yeah?" Jackie's eyes were closed and a relaxed smile was on her lips. Her head was resting against Hyde's shoulder. One arm rested on the blanket, playing with the fabric, and the other was folded across herself, her fingers interlaced with Hyde's.

"You know, man…" he cleared his throat. "You know I love you." Internally, Hyde winced. One, it sounded stupid to him. He wasn't good with emotions and shit. Two, Jackie was probably about to start jumping up and down and screeching at any second.

Jackie, however, did neither of those things. She stretched her neck up and brushed her lips across Hyde's: once, twice, and a third time. "Of course you do," were the only words she said. Jackie twisted so she was sitting sideways in Hyde's laps, both of her legs draping over one of his. Her hands reached up to frame his cheeks between her palms and she kissed her with more fervor. She couldn't find the words. She had a feeling something wasn't right about that, but she couldn't do anything to fix it. It just was. Since wasn't able to say what he probably wanted to hear, even though she _knew_ that she had said it before, she poured herself into the kiss.

Jackie's reaction took Hyde aback. With the exception of making a defensive comment, it was a textbook play from him. Hyde pulled away from the kiss sooner than he normally would have and studied Jackie's face. "Did you just pull a Zen move on me?"

"Whatever, Steven." Jackie stared him down, but Hyde was unable to read the challenge in her eyes. They were both still wearing shades.

"This is turning into the weirdest day ever, man." Hyde stated.

"It kind of is."

* * *

Eric had spent an uneventful day at school. Hyde and Jackie both skipped which meant they were together doing things Eric never ever wanted to picture, or even think about.

He hadn't seen Donna, which was a bummer. At least he finally had the Vista Cruiser back after his California shenanigans. Eric would definitely not miss his 10 mile bike ride to drop off and pick up Donna daily. He pulled the Cruiser up to Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow and parked, scanning the crowd for the familiar red head. He hadn't seen Donna all day. After he and Red got into it this morning over whatever dumbass thing it was he did, Donna had already left.

"Where is she?" Eric wondered aloud. It was odd that Donna wasn't waiting for him. After searching for another couple of minutes, he finally saw her. Her normally straight hair was swept to the side in a wave. It didn't look right on her, at all. She spotted Eric's car about the same time that he saw her. Donna maneuvered her way through the other girls that were dispersing, (The number of hot chicks in uniform was unholy) and something was off with her gait. Her normally purposeful stride was more awkward than usual. Where she'd normally walk through a group of students, she ended up pushing and shoving.

When Donna finally reached the car, she collapsed in the passenger seat with an audible sigh. "I bet Luke Skywalker never had to deal with a bunch of bitchy girls in plaid skirts."

Eric's mouth dropped open and he turned to gape at her.

"What? I'm just saying; I tried to use to force to get them all out of my way. I need to work on it."

Eric's eyes widened and his jaw would have unhinged and fell on the floor of the car if it were physically possible.

"It's like a hundred Jackie clones, without the cheerleading. I didn't know it was possible for Satan to have so many incarnations. I really thought Jackie was the one and only devil." Donna griped.

"Okay, I don't know what's going on, but…" Eric paused, thought about what he was going to say then shook his head with a smile. "No. Well…" Eric side-eyed Donna and figured if it was _ever_ going to happen, it had to be today. Whatever had possessed Donna was clearly a gift from Heaven and temporary. "Okay, so remember how I always want to do some Star Wars… roleplay? And you usually hit me?"

"Oh my God! Eric! That's a great idea. Why are we still sitting here?" Donna's enthusiasm was both hot and eerie, but hot definitely won out. He would worry about the eerie bit later.

Eric floored the Cruiser out of the parking lot, nearly squealing the tires. "If Hyde and Jackie are home, do you think we can use the force to keep them in the basement?"

Donna seemed to seriously ponder this question before responding. "Do you still have the light sabers in your closet? We'll fight them if we have to."

Eric's response was a shit-eating grin and he depressed the gas pedal a little closer to the floor as he hurried home.

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Kelso flopped on the couch in the basement, popsicle in hand.

Fez was walking down the stairs with a bag of chips. "Donna and Eric are upstairs doing it. It was… frightening." Fez had the look of a scared rabbit.

Kelso looked up at this information. "Wait, what?" He studied Fez's face for a minute longer than was likely necessary then added "Fez! What'd they do to you?"

"It was awful," Fez sighed and sat next to Kelso on the couch. "Usually I hide in the closet, but today… it was not right. The Star Wars references and the light saber puns, and…" Fez visibly shuddered and scooted a little closer to Kelso. "It's like Donna wasn't even Donna. She was Eric. With boobs."

A dramatic gasp fell from Kelso's lips and he patted Fez on the back. "It's okay buddy. I'll go up there right now and yell at them." Kelso clearly wasn't thinking, but that wasn't anything new.

"No, you don't want to do that. Kelso." Fez looked up at Kelso sadly and whispered. "It gave me the opposite of needs."

At this, Kelso started to stomp up the stairs with purpose. He didn't know what he was going to do, but Eric and Donna broke Fez and that wasn't okay. Fez was frantically yelling and waving at Kelso from the bottom of the stairs when Hyde and Jackie walked in the basement door, hand in hand.

"Did you two have a lovers quarrel?" Hyde asked, pausing in the middle of the room to take in the scene before him.

"Hyde! You have to stop Kelso! He's about to see something so dark it scared my needs away!" Fez was now lying across the bottom of the steps, his arms wrapped around Kelso's legs.

"Why would I do that? I practically live for burning Kelso, man. You think I'm going to pass an opportunity to traumatize him?"

By the time Fez had convinced Kelso not to leave the basement Jackie was settled on Hyde's lap on his usual chair. Kelso stepped over the back of the couch and sat down, resuming eating his Popsicle. When he turned to Jackie and Hyde a girlish yelp came out of him. Kelso scrambled backwards on the couch, fell over it, landed face-first on his Popsicle and pitifully whimpered. "Ow! My eye!"

Fez was staring at Hyde and Jackie as if they were a puzzle instead of something to fear like Kelso had. Hyde and Jackie both had the same impassive but challenging look on their faces. They were waiting for whatever the moron twins were trying to piece together.

Jackie got bored of it after a few seconds and glanced down, making a face of distaste. Pastel pink polish? Ew. She just started chipping at it with one of the nails on her other hand when Hyde's hand came down on top of hers and gently squeezed. It was kind of annoying that he could read her so well, but it was also kind of comforting to have him there for her. She guessed. She wouldn't admit it if pressed to verbally acknowledge that.

"This is exactly like Eric and Donna! Without the scary…" Fez's entire body shuddered and he took a couple of steps away from Jackie and Hyde, as if they were about to launch a personal attack on him.

"What, Fez? Spit it out already." Jackie began tapping on the floor and glancing between Fez and the dark TV. If she turned it on would he go away? She wasn't really in the mood for a drawn out conversation.

"This." Fez gestured wildly towards Jackie and Hyde while looking at Kelso. Kelso, to his own credit, was on his feet now and looked less like a scared rabbit about to bolt and more like he was looking at a car wreck. Kelso was kind of disturbed but mostly fascinated. Jackie and Hyde sitting there looking like a his and hers version of Hyde was something Kelso was still trying to fully process. "…is like what I ran into upstairs, but with clothes on and no light sabers."

"What the Hell are you talking about Fez?" Hyde's grip on Jackie tightened slightly. He was getting a bad feeling about all of this. It was the kind of feeling he got before he got arrested, but nothing illegal was going on. Hyde surreptitiously glanced towards the door, but of course no cops came barreling through.

"Fez saw Forman and Donna doing it and it was so bad he left the closet." Kelso paused for dramatic effect before finishing. "He LEFT the closet, Hyde. Without his needs; they just… vanished."

The only reaction out of Jackie was one simple word. "Ew."

"What she said." Hyde agreed.

"Anyway, what's up with this? Did you lose a bet or something Jackie?"

Jackie sneered slightly at Kelso's question. "What are you talking about?"

"That." Kelso gestured at the two of them. "The hair, the clothes, the boots, the sunglasses, and the total lack of jewelry," he clarified. "You're like Hyde with boobs- ohhhhhh." Kelso finally understood what Fez meant earlier. "Plus you haven't shrieked, yelled, or talked about yourself since you got here."

Jackie opened her mouth to let out a scathing reply, but Hyde spoke up before she had the chance. "Christmas came early for me, man. Santa left her waiting right on her front porch for me this morning." Hyde grinned, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Oh, Steven." Jackie's smile was a mirror of Hyde's and she snuggled up against him, neither of them worried about Kelso or Fez.

"Okay, seriously!" Kelso jumped to his feet and began to pace the basement. "What is going on here?!"

"And more importantly," At this, Fez also rose and matched Kelso's pacing "Why have we not decided who's going to dress as what for the costume party?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thank you everyone who has been following the story and marking it as a favorite. It encourages me to keep writing. You know what's better than Reese's while Trick-or-treating? Reviews! Pretty please? I hope you're enjoying the story. Without further ado… here's the next installment!_

 _Disclaimer: I own nothing. The only thing I own is a Prius, and I owe a lot of money on it._

 **Eric Forman's Basement**

 **The Same Day**

 **6:30pm**

Donna and Eric descended into the basement, holding hands and looking way too pleased with themselves.

"Pinciotti." Jackie greeted Donna.

"Burkhart," was Donna's reply.

"Hyde." Eric nodded towards Hyde before seating himself on the couch.

"Forman." The nod was returned but Hyde's eyes never strayed from the TV nor had Jackie's for that matter.

Kelso glanced at Donna. Her hair was styled like Eric's, but longer and therefore she was way less hot than she usually looked. He couldn't wrap his head around any other explanation, so Kelso decided that the girls must be in the middle of a really int… intro… intra… intri… what was that word? Detailed. Close enough- burn against Hyde and Eric. With the behavior and looks of Donna and Jackie settled within his own mind, Kelso needed some entertainment. He took in the absurdity of this situation and turned to Fez, who was sitting in the lawn chair. "Fez."

"Kelso."

"Fez."

"Kelso."

As the two continued to greet each other in a brusque manner clearly making fun of the four other members of their group, they were doing more and more complex handshakes, and competing with each other to not forget the movements and also to add on something more ridiculous each time.

"Fez."

"Kelso."

"Fez."

"Kelso."

"Fez."

"I love you."

"WHAT?!" Kelso abruptly forgot all 10 of the moves and froze in place.

"I win!" Fez beamed triumphantly and rain out the basement door.

"You didn't win! You cheated! You can't do that!" A second later, Kelso booked it after him, the door slamming closed behind him.

The two couples that remained in the basement kept their focus on the television, barely paying any attention to the shenanigans of their friends. Jackie was on Hyde's lap, her head leaned on his shoulder while both of his arms were snaked around her waist and loosely holding her.

Eric and Donna were on the couch, Eric on one end with his arm around Donna, and she was comfortably nestled against his side.

The show ended and before the next one could start up, Jackie took action. "Circle time."

"That's what I'm talking about," Donna answered. The girls had taken up Kelso and Fez's usual spots before Eric and Hyde had an opportunity to react.

"Well, uh… yeah man. Okay." Hyde shrugged and joined Jackie and Donna. He began to roll a joint, simultaneously hooking a booted foot around the leg of Jackie's chair and pulling her closer to him.

Eric was still on the couch, looking a little dumb founded. How was he the last one to the circle and why was he hesitating?

"Come on, dillhole." Donna chided. "Would Luke Skywalker sit there with a vacant look on his face when Darth Vader-"

She wasn't able to finish her sentence. Jackie and Hyde both groaned and threw snack wrappers lying on the table from the last circle at her in perfect unison.

"You guys suck. Come on, Eric. I need back up here." Donna turned to Eric to give him a pleading look.

Eric met her gaze and smiled. He had to admit, Donna had a pathetic look on her face. It was kind of cute. So without a retort or comment he got up and sat down in his usual seat, scooting his chair next to Donna's.

Hyde finished rolling a joint and handed it to Jackie, who lit it, puffed, and passed it to Hyde. After it had made a lap around the circle a couple of times, Jackie and Donna started to loosen up and laugh at everything, as per usual. Hyde felt himself relax as well. Maybe he was overreacting to this whole Jackie (and now Donna) acting (and looking) like him (and Forman) thing.

 **20 Minutes Later…**

"No! Shut up Pinciotti! You're not listening to me. The government doesn't want you to learn. They want to track your movements and turn you into one of the mindless masses. Like that car that runs on water! WATER!" Jackie hurled a Twinkie in Donna's general direction, which landed smack in the middle of Eric's chest.

"Who cares about a stupid car? I was trying to tell you about Star Wars when YOU interrupted me. You know what? I know how to shut you up. With the FORCE!" Donna squinted her eyes at Jackie and looked like she was either concentrating really hard or constipated. Hyde thought it was a toss-up between the two.

Hyde was relieved to see Jackie's claws, so to speak. He didn't want her attacking Donna, but the fire in her was present. He would have never gotten so worked up. He would have tossed something at Forman and moved on. Jackie had tossed something at Donna, but she missed and was still going strong.

Hyde raised an eyebrow towards Eric. "Are we stopping them or waiting for the chick fight?"

"Huh?" Eric was staring at Donna with the same puppy dog love look in his eyes he'd had all night.

"Crap. You're useless, Forman." Hyde sat back in his chair and pondered the scene in front of him. Donna and Jackie were both acting strange. Forman either didn't notice or didn't care, probably a bit of both. It was only today. Whatever joke Jackie was pulling, if that's what it was, would probably be over first thing in morning. Maybe Stonerella's spell broke at midnight. Hyde smile to himself at that. The name might have to stick around.

Jackie had just frogged Donna in the arm when Red's voice came billowing down the stairs. "All the dumbasses that live here get upstairs and eat. _Now!_ All the dumbasses that don't live here get the hell out!"

At least the circle was over and Red hadn't walked in on that. Of course, Red didn't walk in on an anything; he only stuck his head through the door and hollered.

"Coming Mr Forman!" Hyde answered a minute later, when Eric made it apparent that he wasn't going to. Donna was kissing Eric's neck, her hand still rubbing her arm where Jackie had gotten her. Hyde smile despite himself. That was his girl. "I'll see you tomorrow." Hyde dropped a quick kiss on Jackie's lips and pried Eric off of Donna. "Come on, Luke. The Force is telling me that you're about to get a foot in your ass."

Eric whined but allowed Hyde to drag him upstairs, while Jackie was pushing Donna out the basement door. She looked so dejected that Jackie almost felt bad for her… until Donna came to a dead stop in the doorframe and refused to move. "Pinciotti! Move your ass!"

"No. What if I wait down here until Eric's done? I could sneak in after Mr. and Mrs. Forman go to bed and-"

"Move."

"But-"

"Will you stop thinking like Eric for two seconds?" Jackie's frustration was evident. "The only one coming down those stairs later is MY guy. You are not going to lie in wait to jump Steven's bones. You're turning into Eric. Since when do you care about Star Wars?"

Donna finally allowed Jackie to push her completely out of the basement, but she was immediately ready counter her words. "Since when are you against the government and convinced everything is a conspiracy? Who do you think _you_ sound like?"

"Whatever Pinciotti."

"That's what I thought, Burkhart."

At the top of the stairs they parted ways and both went to their respective homes, neither girl finding anything strange about their own actions.

* * *

"Oh, look. Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass have decided to join the rest of us for dinner. Dinner that I paid for and Kitty made."

Hyde mumbled an apology and sat down, digging into his food almost immediately to avoid eye contact.

Eric just couldn't leave well enough alone. "I must be Tweedle Dee, because Hyde over there is definitely a dumb ass."

Hyde didn't know where Forman was going with this, but it couldn't be good. He shot a glare across the table, but the guy was oblivious.

"Shut up and eat your dinner." Red interjected. He knew that whatever would come out of Eric's mouth would give him a headache, and he wanted a nice quiet menopause-free night. Kitty was in a good mood today, and Red would happily put two feet into the ass of whoever messed that up for her.

"No, but listen. This is a good story," Eric started and Hyde groaned internally. Anything Eric thought was a good story either involved Star Wars or saying something to his parents he really shouldn't. "So, Hyde here is a dumbass, because not only did he skip school today to go hang out with Jackie-"

Hyde tensed up and his fork froze halfway to his mouth. "Forman." He quietly growled, his eyes darting between Red and Kitty seated on either side of him.

"-He skipped school to hang out with Jackie, and they didn't even do it! What a dumb ass, huh? Now me, I picked Donna up from school and we went right upstairs and…" Feeling both of his parents' gazes on him now, he realized what he said and fumbled for a way to make it right. "…read Captain America together." Eric finished lamely, hanging his head.

Red was smiling, for the moment. "You're both dumbasses, but you're the dumbass with a foot in your mouth and one up your ass." He pleasantly told his son.

"Oh, Eric. Oh, Steven." Kitty stood from the table, tears welling in her eyes. "I'll forgive you Steven, since you're an orphan and more of a gentleman than that… that… that boy I raised." Kitty paused, taking her plate to the sink and methodically starting the dishes. "But you, Eric Forman! My baby! How could you and that… that… hussy!"

Hyde gave Red a helpless look. In response, Red mouthed 'Fix it!' followed by dragging a finger across his throat. Hyde had no desire to have a foot placed up his ass this evening so he got up and grabbed a towel, silently joining Kitty to dry the dishes she washed. It wasn't much as far as apologies went, but Kitty visibly brightened and happily accepted Hyde's help. If only her own baby could be so considerate and helpful.

"Eric." Red stood, having finished his meal while letting Eric tremble in fear over what kind of punishment he'd receive. "Go wash and wax the Cruiser. I'm taking your mother out to dinner in it tomorrow night."

"But dad, what's wrong with the Toyota?"

"Nothing and it's going to stay that way."

Eric clearly didn't understand. "But dad, I'm taking Donna to the movies tomorrow night."

"You're not taking Donna anywhere in that car, or yourself. Wash it, wax it, hand over the keys."

"Dad! That's so unfair!" Eric was nearing whining territory.

"No. What's unfair is your mother crying over dinner because her son can't keep it in his pants, then has the stupidity to report back to her about it. Wash, wax, keys." Red finished with a reminder.

"But dad!"

"You want a foot up your ass to go with it?" Eric turned tail and ran out the door without another word.

Red turned around and gave Hyde a look. "Quit being a dumbass."

"Yes, sir." Hyde responded while drying a glass, feeling pretty bad about his role in upsetting his adopted parents.

Red turned and marched into the living room, hiding a smile. One of those two might turn out okay after all.

* * *

"Steven, wake up." Nothing. Jackie tried again, whispering a little more loudly. "Steven!" A soft snore was her only response. "Ugh!" Jackie quietly kicked off her boots and slipped into bed next to Hyde. She managed to sneak into the basement, which was locked, with a bobby pin. She made it all the way into his room without a sound. Jackie wasn't about to give up now. Hyde was sleeping on his side, facing her. She slipped one knee between both of his legs and wiggled closer. "Steven?" Hyde was still breathing evenly and completely passed out. "Come on baby, wake up." Jackie leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against Hyde's. No response. It was time to break out the big guns. Jackie slipped her fingers into Hyde's hair and started massaging his scalp. At the same time, her lips moved from where they lingered over his, and she left a slow trail of kisses to his chin, up his jawline, and after stopping to suck on his earlobe, down his neck.

Jackie had just made it to the collarbone when Hyde's sleep-roughened voice alerted her to the fact that he was finally semi-conscious. "Mm, Jackie…"

"Morning, baby." Jackie murmured against Hyde's skin, her hand slipping out of his hair and moving down to his shoulder.

"What time is it?" Hyde looked around him, but the room was dark. The lack of windows in his room wouldn't have helped him with the time anyway. Was it really morning? It felt like he'd only been asleep for a couple of hours.

"It's still night. It's only 2. Come on, I wanted to show you something." Jackie's voice was quiet, and there was no shrillness to be found. Hyde did not want to get out of bed. Unless Jackie wanted to show him herself without clothes on… wait a minute. Hyde's arms circled around Jackie's waist. Damn. Fully clothed, and wearing a hoodie. Double damn.

"Did you say 2? What are you doing here? I do not need another foot in the ass lecture from Red." Eric and his big mouth... Lucky for Jackie, the Burkharts were out of town and no one was there to hand Jackie a talk of her own or to be disappointed in her like Mrs. Forman.

"I know and that's why I'm here. Donna called me. I wanted to apologize. Come on." Jackie coaxed, moving herself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"So you want to apologize for getting me in trouble for sneaking out… by sneaking out?"

"Well its Friday, so it's not like we'll be missing school tomorrow. You'll be back before Sunrise. What are you so worried about anyway?"

Hyde sat up and rubbed his eyes. If it wasn't a sale at the mall, Jackie wasn't voluntarily awake and out of her house in the middle of the night. He turned and scooted himself so he sat next to Jackie on the side of his bed. Moving casually, he slipped his arm around Jackie's shoulder and turned her to him. He had to know one thing. Was this his Jackie being reckless or was this the carbon copy version of himself that Hyde was dealing with? He cupped Jackie's cheek and stretched his fingers. Tight curls rubbed against his fingertips. Crap. Trying to buy himself time to wake up and to think, Hyde went with a distraction maneuver and pressed his lips to Jackie's. She immediately responded, and her fingers dug into his shoulders. After a few seconds, Jackie wound up straddling his lap. The way her hips ground against Hyde's and how her tongue knew how to touch his… this wasn't a distraction. This was Hyde about to break. His entire body was definitely awake and on full alert. He accomplished half of what he needed. Hating himself for it, Hyde pulled his lips away from Jackie's but kept his arms around her so she was still trapped straddling him.

"Need… a minute." He managed to croak out.

"Okay," Jackie purred into Hyde's ear. "Maybe we can continue when we get back later. After your apology-slash-surprise.

Hyde didn't have an immediate answer to that. He didn't tend to care about getting busted, but with Mr and Mrs Forman it was different. He didn't like to disappoint them. "Maybe," was the only answer he could offer Jackie.

It was another reason he had to figure out what was going on with her. Hyde felt like he had to be the responsible one and that wasn't a something that he dealt well with. He had no problem taking care of Jackie when she was Jackie, but this was like taking care of himself with tits. If Hyde had a rack, he would test every boundary he could, and probably end up in more trouble than he was used to being in. That wasn't the kind of trouble he wanted Jackie in, regardless whether she was herself or just like him. He brushed his lips against Jackie's forehead and pulled her against him in a protective hug. After a couple of comfortably quiet minutes, Hyde disentangled himself from Jackie and stood up to get dressed.

He knew himself, and if he went through the trouble of doing something nice for someone else, it was a big deal. Was that what this was a big deal for the Hyde version of Jackie? Or was Jackie still herself in there somewhere? Big gestures and surprises were her thing, although she usually preferred them given/done to her. This was getting way too confusing. Hyde had to corner Kelso and figure out how to track down his damn dealer.

Hyde groped in the dark until he found the light switch and turned on the bare bulb to illuminate his room. Squinting, he threw articles of clothing around until he found a pair of pants, a t-shirt, and his jacket. The Kelso issue would have to be shelved for the time being. Tonight's priority was the girl sitting on the edge of his bed and shielding her eyes. Once he was ready Hyde turned off the light and grabbed Jackie's hand. "Come on." He whispered quietly, fully aware of who was asleep two floors up.

They picked across the basement, out the door, and up the stairs without incident. It wasn't until they were standing in the driveway that Hyde felt a rock start to form in the pit of his stomach. "Did you walk here?"

"Of course I didn't." Jackie huffed in indignation. "My dad's Lincoln is around the corner. The last thing I wanted was fat mouth Forman seeing my car and telling your parents I was here in the middle of the night."

Hyde relaxed almost instantly. Jackie was smarter than most people would give her credit for. "Alright, where's my surprise? It's freezing out here."

"Big baby," Jackie chided with no malice in her tone. "Come on." Taking Hyde's hand, Jackie led him to the Lincoln and drove them a few blocks away. Nothing too far, just enough to get a clear view without lights.

When Jackie parked, she grabbed a blanket out of the backseat before stepping out of the car.

"Uh Jackie… We're in the middle of nowhere."

"That's the point." Rolling her eyes, Jackie plopped down on the hood of the Lincoln, which was warm from running. They were parked on a side street by a field, but it was perfect. "Steven." Jackie flashed Hyde a cute smile and patted the spot next to her on the hood. Hyde shrugged and joined her, draping the blanket over both of their shoulders. Jackie silently pulled a beer out of her pocket and handed it to Hyde.

He cracked the beer and took a long drink. "I don't know if there's a reason we're sitting on a car in a corn field at midnight or not, but so far this is great."

"We are not _in_ a corn field, we are _next_ to a corn field." Jackie qualified. Fumbling in the other pocket of her hoodie, she found a joint and a lighter. Lifting it to her lips, she easily lit the joint and took a hit. Hyde turned at the familiar smell and raised an eyebrow at Jackie. "What?" She passed the joint and snuggled into Hyde's side. "We still haven't gotten to the best part."

Unless Jackie was planning on doing a strip tease in the middle of the street, Hyde didn't think tonight could get any better. "Whatever you say, doll."

About ten minutes later, Jackie and Hyde were both fully baked and happily cuddling on the hood of the car when Hyde decided to break the silence. "You can really see the stars tonight. There isn't a cloud in the sky."

"I know. That's the whole point." Jackie said smugly, but she offered no explanation.

"Whatever." Shrugging, he nuzzled Jackie's neck. It was so soft.

"Steven, it's about to start. You're going to miss it."

"Miss what?"

"Your surprise." Turning so she was on her back, Jackie glanced at her watch then pointed to the sky emphatically. "Trust me?"

"Fine." Hyde rolled onto his back next to her. Jackie's small hand slipped into his just as something streaked across the sky. "What was that?"

"Surprise! It's a meteor shower. Pretty neat, huh?"

Hyde folded his free arm under his head to use as a makeshift pillow and continued to watch the show happening on the sky above him. "Okay, apology accepted. This is worth doing dishes for skipping school." Watching this would be cool on its own, but watching it while stoned with Jackie next to him? Hyde thought that things couldn't get much better.

Until he had a thought that sobered him completely, that was. "Hey Jackie? Where'd you get the weed?"

"I stole it from Kelso." She announced proudly.

"Cool." Hyde squeezed Jackie's hand, but his insides were churning. He was pretty sure that stash was responsible for Jackie and Donna acting Looney Tunes, but he had no proof. He had to stop letting himself get distracted and get to the bottom of this. Hyde was a worse detective than the entire Scooby gang, and he was only one guy.

"Hey Steven?"

"Hmm?"

"What if we dress up as bikers for Halloween?" Just like that, Hyde's focus on the mystery dissipated, while a vision of Jackie in heeled boots and leather pants filled his mind.

"That's cool." He murmured, but his voice sounded strained, even to his own ears.

Jackie smiled to herself. She knew Eric's big mouth had gotten her Steven into trouble. Even if it wasn't that bad, she knew he hated disappointing the Formans, so Jackie planned tonight with one goal in mind… to remind him that he wasn't a disappointment and show him that she appreciated him.

"Hey Steven?"

"Yeah?"

Jackie turned onto her side, cuddling up to Hyde and burying her face in his chest. Once she was fully ensconced and convinced he definitely could not see, and hopefully couldn't hear her either, she told him what she wanted to say earlier in the day, in a voice muffled by his jacket. "I love you."

Hyde smiled and pulled her closer to him. "Of course you do." He repeated her words from earlier.

A hot biker chick for Halloween, a meteor shower, beer, and getting high. How would Jackie apologize if she actually did something wrong? Maybe that investigation wasn't so urgent after all.


End file.
